her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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