just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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