Just fell off a train. Bad.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
