I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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