Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
