Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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