So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
