yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
