Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
