Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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