im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have post one night stand depression
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
