it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
