I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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