oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
