Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Enjoy the penises
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
