i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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