What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
