I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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