I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
