As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
