Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
