Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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