Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
