I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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