just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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