I hope mine doesn't look like that
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
