I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
