Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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