Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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