You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
