I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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