He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just tell him i said nine months
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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