Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
