Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We need to get me chipped asap
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
