I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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