Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
