My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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