Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
