Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
