is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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