Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize