So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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