Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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