He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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