we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
