we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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