I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
