A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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