you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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