chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
