exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize