I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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