her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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