Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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