AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
