Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
