he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
one might say we're banned from that church
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
