Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
