It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
