I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
