Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just google imaged poop.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
