bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize