well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize