idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
