I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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