My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize